But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
