You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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