Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
