theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize