i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
