Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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