my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
