billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize