my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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