Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
