we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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