He uses pillows to masturbate.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
