where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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