then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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