That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
