OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I miss vodka workout Fridays
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize