i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
