in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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