roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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