You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
