Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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