ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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