Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
