I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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