Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
