I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
