You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sober January is a disaster.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
