At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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