Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
