We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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