I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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