Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
