Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
