Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
