you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
