Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
