Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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