Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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