I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
