I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
