I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
