He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize