so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
