everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize