Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
