You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
