Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
