you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize