Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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