i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
