Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
