so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
