Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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