he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
