There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
