I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
