Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
