they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize