Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
last night I used snow as a chaser
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
