Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
