You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
