Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
