My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize