I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
