We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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