yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
