capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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