forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
