ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
