I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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