woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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