You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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