Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
