I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
