Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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