PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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