Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
