At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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